As we see it during graduation season, new relationships, lasting friendships and new job opportunities, Black women are breaking generational curses daily and we love to see it all. I have been reflecting on this season where I see so many women around me settling into their lives and adapting to the beautiful new shifts that have characterized our entrance into our twenties. However, there is that lingering feeling when everything is going perfect, something might creep up; consequently, our minds can not enjoy this moment to celebrate ourselves and that feeling makes it difficult to discover much needed reassurance in this age and stage.
Our generational curses come in a wide range yet parallels can be found in so many of our experiences and traumas from the women before us. As I look into my own life, thinking of the past decisions and the ones to be made, I analyze and overthink every possible movement because I understand the consequences that my decisions can have for the women who have supported me thus far whom I also have a responsibility to, and I understand the responsibility I have for the women that come after me. There is no rule book for us. We are at a constant battle with the world which already comes with so much deterrence for us. Additionally, we tackle the battle within our own identities and choices so we can ensure we break our familial curses.
I fear for the women in my life. My sisters, I know we all are going to get all we can in this life. As I root for you I also am terrified at times. As we can all relate to trying to get one of our friends out of a toxic relationship or as we relate to searching for the right approach to have a conversation about unhealthy habits, it can be difficult for some as the lines get blurred when deciding the right moment to intervene and have a conversation.
In the midst of a new friendship, I had the opportunity to understand how my inability to open up about how the circumstances of my life have affected my relationships. It is a damning feeling, close to even a frustration to realize how a form of generational trauma has conglomerated into the ways I choose to live my life and maintain relationships around me. However, identifying and deconstructing how this habit shapes my life has been one of the most exhilarating and reliving moments of my life. I truly can see the parts of me and love who I am unapologetically and I know what I can give for my loved ones will be much more than what I could have before this season of healing. Also, knowing how I am healing extends to how the women in my life can also heal. As our strides are not at the same pace and at different times, I know that by the end of our life knowing how we have chosen to take care of ourselves and our minds leaves the foundation for a blueprint and guidance for those that come after us.